a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
