like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?