This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
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He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook