I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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