what if I'm pregnant?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations