I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.