Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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