Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?