Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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