The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we're making bets on your personal life
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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