a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
