youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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