Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
