only you would photoshop your dick
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
