i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would ride that face into the sunset
I pour the whiskey from now on
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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