It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
