Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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