I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
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