I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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