bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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