Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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