I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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