Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
