i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
