Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
