can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm both gender and math confused
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
