its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
