found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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