Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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