I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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