love makes seman taste better
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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