So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
