everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
