I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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