And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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