He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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