WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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