Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
