We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
