Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
