I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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