We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize