I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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