Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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