I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
