how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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