I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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