Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
