They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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