yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
