Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
