Pants 0. Shit 1.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
