U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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