You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I am morally bankrupt
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
