Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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