Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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