I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
