Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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