the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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