Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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