I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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