Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize