Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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