I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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