It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
