I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize