Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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