My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I CAN MOONWALK!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm too high and old for this...
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