Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
