she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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